Irony

coloured path.
yet the content of this blog is all grey
ironic.
this blog was meant for a cheery posts
was meant for a colourful journey
was meant to be different from the older one
but since i met you
all i had been posting is about you
all i had been writing
are those i wish i could've said to you
this once coloured blog
is all dull and grey
cause of missing you so much
and endless thoughts of what-ifs

At 4 am

I am just someone
you used to know
so well for so short
I opened up so much
you thought I was strong
you asked me not to leave
you asked to come again
you told me you're afraid
afraid I'll just be
like those you left behind
cause you know you can't keep up
with distances
when it comes to
those you care
I wonder
do you really care?
have you ever really cared?
just a friend
that I know
and that don't matter
but do you have to disappear?
I don't ask for much
can't you just stay?

Smoke

Why cant I stop missing you?
Why cant these images of you go away?
Why wont those fragments of memories stop replaying?
Why is it just so hard to get over you?
Why do I still dream of you?
Why do you have that much of an impact in my life?
Why am I still clinging onto something
that is now like a wisp of smoke?

Blunt Knives

Oh Lord.
This hollowness in my chest
This emptiness
This longing
It's killing me
My heart,
It's beating
Beating in a way
that I hope it just stops.
The more it beats
The more I feel the ache
The quicker it's pace
The more I feel as I am being stabbed
With the most blunt of knives
Slowly piercing in
Repeatedly cutting through

I've been here long before
I should be stronger
I should be immuned to this pain
But Lord why
Why do I have to go through this again

Lord
Forgive me
Is missing someone
A deathly sin?
If this is a sin
Then I am forever condemned

No one

No one else quite like you.
No one else compares to you

I miss you

What did you do to me?
Why cant I stop missing you so much?
Please make it stop wabbit.
Please x'/

Too late

Everything is all said and done.
Theres no turning back now.
Regret it all I want.
Cant change anything
x(

Stay or nay.

You've seen me at my worst. Now please decide if you want to stay. Cause I promise I'll make it worthwhile. I promise it'll be a fun ride

Fan of his.

I am just another fan.

Dream

In my dream
You were happy.
Happy to know how I feel
And that you really appreciate it,
You didn't mind saying it in public
But that was only a dream.

brief

Hmm..it doesn't matter if you dont feel the same.
Cause somehow I know you dont
This, whatever this is, i believe is just a phase.
I hope is just a phase.
So please dont feel that you are obliged to stay or pity this pathetic soul.
Im a tough girl :) a complicated one at that.
So I understand if anyone cant stand how I am.
But I hope if we ever cross each other in the future,
You wont be a stranger towards me :')
Thank you for an amazing time spent.
Thnkyou for walking in my life.
Even if it was brief.

Im sorry.but i cant help it

I miss it.
I miss the way you took my hand in yours..
I miss that adorable thing you do when you place the palm of my hand on the side of your face.
The quick beating of your heart
Missed the way you were unsure whether to put your arms around me.
Missed that cute blurred act you do when you dont know what you should be doing
I miss the way you gently nestled your nose against my head,..
The way you played with my hair
That warmth as you hugged me close
I miss the way your heart thumps as I rest my head against your chest.
Im sorry...
But I cant help but to miss every single little thing. x'/