Tell me what to do.please.

Kiss me hard before you go
I just wanted you to know
that you're the best

I dont like how we are now
I hate it
Can't we go back to that day?
Go back to saturday
Go back to that journey we took together
Go way back
It seemed so long ago now
Even when its actually just a couple of months back

God it's killing me
Lord my heart is tearing to pieces
Please make it stop
Please make it so we're back to how we were

Are you that mad at me?
I was trying to surprise you
That is all
Are you that disgusted that I'm going to tag along
Do you hate me that much?

Ya Allah
Only You know how painful this is
Only You know how I regretted everything
Only You know how much it mattered to me what he thinks
Only You know how devastated I feel
Only You know how much this is killing me

Lord
I dont know what to do
I dont know how to act
I dont know what I should do
I want to cry so bad
Trying my best to hold it in